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In this article, I explain how the being a pleaser can make our lives stuck and how meditation and focusing therapy can help to bring us to freedom.

We’re about to enter Passover, the holiday of freedom. Maybe it’s a good time to ask what freedom actually is, what we’re trying to be free from, and how letting go really happens. When we get stuck in an emotional loop, like when someone hurt us and we can’t let it go, or we lost money and it just keeps running in our head, what people usually say is: just let it go, bro. Let go and move on. The thing that gets a lot of people stuck isn’t that they don’t understand they need

I want to touch on something today that a lot of people struggle with. Why we get stuck, even in places where we genuinely want to grow. It can be eating habits, smoking, screen addiction, or any pattern we know is not good for us. We try, we decide, we even start, and somehow we end up right back where we were. Most of the time, it’s not a lack of discipline. And it’s not a lack of motivation either. The deeper issue is that we don’t really understand the process of change.

The use of affirmations has become an inseparable part of quite a few practices of training and therapy. From my understanding, using affirmations can sometimes have real value, but when it’s used in an imprecise way, it can create the opposite effect from what we intended. I’m not writing this as a post against affirmations (personally, in my own work, I don’t use them), but as an attempt to be more accurate about when and why they work, and when they start working against u

Focusing and mindfulness are two practices that developed at very different times. However, both contain much of each other in terms of the perception of the path and direction they aim for: liberation from suffering and progress through a deep acceptance of inner experience, as it manifests itself in the body and mind. When I look at the society around me, at patients, students, and myself, I feel that the most important thing for happiness in our lives is empathy and the ex